Monday, August 18, 2008
Am I Wry? ♥ 5:36 PM
I am so thankful for Misha right now. I came home from a good yet instense meeting with my new therapist. I think I kinda scared her. But I came home to a long, meaningful, loving message on myspace from Misha. Even though she isn't the 'Old Friend' or The Geek, she still cares and takes time to really write me back. I believe what she says about me, Ma, Judas, and my life. I love her. And the last message she wrote me was exactly what I need.
Sooo....my therapist appointment was quite productive, if anything. I didn't like the beginning, because I HATE opening up in front of Ma. But when Ma left, my therapist got some basics. She didn't get all the basics though, because I needed more time, time which was spent with Ma in the room. But she really described me in one word....Overwhelmed. That's me. I have an urgent meeting with Dr. Ayrab, or whatever his real name is, next Thursday, and I see Jill again next Tuesday. She said that since I'm dealing with my past, leaving my friends, trying to please Ma, going to a new school, and also dealing with my own personal thoughts....that working is something I should NOT be doing. That's the first time I've ever heard that.
At first I didn't want to trust her, but she loosened up a bit when Ma wasn't there. And she was able to talk to me in more detail about 'my brain' since I knew the anatomy of my brain, my neurons, my serotonin, my norepinephrine, and my pharms. bad thing was, I broke down completely when she asked about relationships, my ability to relax, my parents, and my high school experience. She actually went to the point of suggesting I spend a few days in 'protective care' so that I could take a break and relax away from everything. I don't think I could deal with that just yet. And for a while, I really wanted to talk to Judas about all this. But I can't. =[
I need to go eat.
Later, maybe.
Cherry
The End.