Monday, August 18, 2008
She Tasted Like Cigarettes ♥ 9:02 AM
Jesus Christ. I am never going to feel better. I couldn't sleep last night...and didn't sleep until 5am-ish. Got up at 8:30 when I'm scheduled for work at 9. I called out. I'm sick, exhausted, and my face permanently looks like it's about to start leaking from the eyes. Fuck OfficeMax. Clinton is full of jobs, and I could get hired anywhere. Plus, I'm supposed to work in the school bookstore. Fuck OfficeMax. It's a lame job that pays shit anyways.
Last night I bought HHGTTG, and a new Palahniuk book. I'm gonne return the Palahniuk book, I need the gas money to get to work. Plus, I realized that right now, my brain can't slow down and focus enough to read. So it does me no good. But I also bought a new Boondock Saints shirt, and an Assassin's Creed poster. I should not have spent my money at all. But it happens.
Then I went to my aunt's house and got to see Aunt Tori, Steph, Gramma B, and even Raymond. I miss Raymond! He was always my closest cousin, and I always felt close to him for some reason. Then Karrie brought Brayden by to Aunt Tori's. Brayden is soooo adorable! He looks just like his Daddy! He even gave me a hug! =D Even though I hardly talked to anyone, and most of the people there were STONERS, I still had a good time just being away from the house.
Like I said, I couldn't sleep last night and it sucked. Walking by Abercrombie & Fitch in the mall didn't help. Either did finishing my scrapbook. But I talked to Misha on myspace for a while, and even though I wrote her a novel each time, it really helped. My cell phone got shut off, which sucks balls. And Judas actually texted me back when I was ohhhh, 5 minutes away from him. Lulz....the irony. And my luck, holy shit, when he DOESN'T ignore me, my phone gets shut off.
I am SO happy to see a therapist today. I hope I like her because I have a lot to say to her. I'm really sick of being so confused, anxious, and worried. Feeling one way makes me feel another way that I don't really feel. Like, I feel like there's no use in getting up and going to work, and that makes me feel worthless. I'm not worthless, and I know this. I hurt because of what Judas did, and then I feel like I hate him. I know for a fact that I don't hate him. But I'm sick of being disorientated.
Holy shit I can't wait for school to start. I can't wait to be distracted. I'm gonna go look for a new job, and watch this sweet video that I've been searching WEEKS for.
Peace Dawg,
Cherry
The End.